=Awful Feelin+

We quarrel again after wks of hapi n peace.. He is stil e same old attitude when we quarrel. Anyway, both of us dunwan to giv in.. Even though he apologise, bt is a late apology cos he has already said sometin which brings bk e kind of feelin I used to hv... It seems like e effort I hv put in is jus nt enuff.. To him, is onli wks tat we nv quarrel n nt mths or years.. It makes mi so sad.. Cos at least I put in my effort to change as I hv always be e one who stir up quarrels.. Nt tat he nv put in effort, bt my effort is to b more cos of al e quarrels tis while.. Bt he jus dun understand... He likes sayin those words which hurts.. Ya.. both of us r hurtin each other.. I duno hw is e feel nw bt I m feelin miserable.. B4 we hang up, I asked him hw long he wants e coolin dw period.. Tats his way after a quarrel. He asked bk hw long I wan to give him... N he said hw long I wan he also can.. Thanks.. I thot I can end e conversation bt wat he said is like he reali like n can b by himself witout mi.. K fine.. Since he say tat den e coolin dw period shall b as long as he wants.. I dunwan to care anymore!!! Wateva he said after tat hurtful sentence is nt into my mind at al... He finally said in a tired tone tat lets nt quarrel anymore... Do u tink tat wil get in my mind? No! I take in wat he say b4 tat.. Since he said hw long e cooling dw period I wan to give he also can, den go ahead.. I wil also rem wat he said when I come bk frm Bangkok... Cos of a small quarrel, he finally say truthfully tat when I'm nt ard, hw hapi n peaceful his ears are! He nv said tat he misses mi.. So I tink to him, I'm nt tat impt anymore.. K fine.. Wateva he said, I shall rem... Nw jus let e cooling dw period go on... He can hv al e peace he wants... I can b alone or wit my frens... I jus feel terrible nw.. I dun wish to noe or do anythin except hv someone or a fren by my side can le... He dun nit mi to b by his side, I dun nit his too... Utterly disappointed! I failed to change again...